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Jokes / Re: Who dreams this stuff up?....
« Last post by Hugh Wallington on June 19, 2017, 05:02:02 PM »
Charles,

Thanks for these.  Brilliant!

Hugh
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Jokes / Who dreams this stuff up?....
« Last post by Charles Hughes on June 19, 2017, 01:33:21 AM »
A lexophile of course.
 
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• Haunted French pancakes give me the crκpes.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• The cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off!
• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
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Crossword Puzzles .. / ARG Crossword Puzzle 9
« Last post by Robert McMichael on June 18, 2017, 11:02:02 AM »
We're going to use the very first J.O.T. as a theme for crossword puzzle 9.  Just One Tune was created by Peter Anderson, and is in it's seventh year.  So congratulations and thank you Peter.  Also, thanks to AR owners & members who have helped in sustaining this entertaining program, thus far, by submitting more than 800 tunes.

rearrange the letters below to read the first and last name of an original JOT contributor.

SHIVER BARON
then, insert only the last name in 37 down, of Crossword Puzzle 9.

 
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Thanks Terry,

I think it's where this organ excels.... simple, slow, relaxed....solo sounds. Mainly because the solo sounds are so very good, the rhythms are simple and not fussy, and the real drawbars are excellent.

The orchestration is better on the AR.
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Lovely relaxed tones coming from your Grande Peter.

Terry.
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Finally managed a 'direct' audio/video recording of my Orla Grande Theatre using I phone 6s.

I hope you like 'The Nearness Of You'

https://youtu.be/qKboOoF7K9E
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Crossword Puzzles .. / Re: ARG Crossword Puzzle 4
« Last post by Robert McMichael on June 09, 2017, 04:19:45 AM »
Thank You Peter:

I have amended the posting of this puzzle to read as follows:

Administrative member (Peter A.) has correctly pointed out the misspelling of Kathryn (Holley)'s name in clue #41, down.  It was a mistake on my part.  To correct the spelling would affect other words, so herein, please enter the following letters (though misspelled) for 41 down (K-A-T-H-Y-R-N).  My apology to Ms. Holley and puzzle solvers, and a thank you to Peter for pointing this out.

Mac
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Crossword Puzzles .. / ARG Crossword Puzzle 8
« Last post by Robert McMichael on June 08, 2017, 01:30:36 PM »
rearrange the letters below to read the first and last name of a current ARG member!

BY TRET ERRORS


then, insert your solution(s) in 35 and 37 across of Crossword Puzzle 8


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Crossword Puzzles .. / Re: ARG Crossword Puzzle 4
« Last post by Peter Anderson on June 08, 2017, 09:19:56 AM »
Hi Mac. I love crossword puzzles and have greatly enjoyed solving these.  You have worked hard to generate them and may I add, to a high professional standard.
One small point, in this one in 41 down, I think you have misspelt Miss Holley's name.
Keep up the good work,
Peter
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Jokes / Suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks ~
« Last post by Robert McMichael on June 06, 2017, 03:37:44 PM »
I Just Realized Something:

 

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.

He has his food prepared for him.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup and again during the year, if any medical needs arise.

For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.

If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.

He receives these accommodations absolutely free.

He is living like a king and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who earn a living.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks ~

MY dog is a POLITICIAN!!!
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